Eagles vs. Turkeys

KrisinLuck hit below the belt yesterday.  For those of you who haven’t met her, GO.  She’s a phenomenal woman with a different slant on Christianity (like me and from me).  She’s a unmoldable, a fringer… a recently ex-waitress in a bar and a recently published contributor to her local newspaper…  ((See, Kris, these things balance themselves out… LoL!!))  She’s got spunk and believes in honesty.  You’d like her.  Well, here’s what she wrote that winded me:

When people I am close to, or growing close to, begin to associate with people I am long done with…what do I do then? Do I do what is right for me – which is to have nothing to do with them – or do I seek out a compromise to maintain the friendship?

It is human nature to see a person in terms of who they choose to surround themselves with. If I am out in a group and there is another group of people there who have started fights and been busted for illegal activities, that new, clean cut appearing person in that group is not going to get much of a chance. They will be lumped in with the problem people. It’s like the plaque my mother used to have in our kitchen:

You can’t soar with eagles if you hang out with turkeys.

So. Let’s say someone I care about has aligned their life with someone who has proven themselves to be a turkey extraordinare. What do I do now? To sit silently tolerating it sends a message that I may welcome the turkey into my circle of friends. Not gonna happen. To continue to associate with the person I care about, but refuse any and all contact with the turkey has potential to damage my own respect, both for myself and from others who know me – because now this person I am close to is seen as associated with the turkey.

I have battled with this WHOLE thing for YEARS… and it’s about driven me to drink.  With every group I’ve fringed, I’ve met incoming people who join up who have great eagle potential.  And I can NOT understand why they would associate with the turkeys.  Even after the turkeys show themselves for what they are, these potential eagles *still* associate with the turkeys.  Why?  Of what benefit is it?  It will bring them down.  And I can’t do that, so there’s a problem there.

There is a girl who I really hit it off with.  But her subscribers are people who have belittled me, hated me, gossiped about me, slandered me… this is a problem – because if I comment at Kim’s site, I have to see those nasty turkeys.  I have to either tolerate them  – and face the possibility that they could take anything I write to another site and bash it –  to be her friend, or lose the friend but retain my self-respect.  Ack.  What a mess.  And to ask my friend to set aside her turkeys isn’t my place.  So I’m in a constantly uncomfortable position.

A short time ago, I sent a message out to a few people I read on Xanga… people I admire and learn alot from.  I wanted to be frank about my problem – which is that when I commented on their sites, I felt like there were people who didn’t like me going to their site *purposely* to make me uncomfortable, or to one-up me in the comment section.  And although I didn’t want the eagles I admired to stoop to turkey behavior and snub them, I didn’t like to see eagles hanging out with turkeys, either.  And since there was nothing *I* could do about it, I apologized and said simply that I would stop commenting, but continue to read and e-mail/guestbook them my comments, instead.

The reasoning was logical and Biblical, actually – if reading the comments made me angry (ie, causes me to sin), then I need to pluck out from my view the thing that made me sin – being, the comments from the turkeys.  Even if it meant changing the way I supported the eagles I liked.  Because who the eagles choose to hang with isn’t my business… even though it affects me.  Right?  And I couldn’t just start doing weird things and abandon their comment sections without an explanation… ((although I’ve been lucky lately – either I’m first to comment or the turkeys have been silent.))

This is THE biggest thorn I have wrestled with in a LONG time.  Which is why I decided to collect eagles.  Why subscribe to moldables when all that will come of it is the pressure for me to fit a mold?  Why subscribe to a turkey when all that will come of it is the pressure to give up soaring?

The problem isn’t solved… but at least Kris gave me a perfect analogy to describe what trips me up the most.  ((I hate admitting weakness, as it is.))  But there it is, in a nutshell.

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