Where’s God when I’m Scared?

And I was dumb enough to ask the Lord for some challenges earlier this week.  ((grins widely))  Yeah, that’s what I get for placing such an order.  E-mails, heated topics, and even the odd idiot.  ((no pun intended… but it worked out kinda cute.  LoL!!))  I don’t know what’s in the air.  I think it’s Harry Potter hype or something, because EVERYBODY is writing about spirits, evil, ghosts, spiritual warfare… and I didn’t intend to, but with the partial review of Constantine, I kinda did, didn’t I?  ((shrugs))  Ah, well… chalkin’ it up to having been meant to be.  Or something.  Anyhow, I’m not complainig, because I grow the best under these conditions.  Yeah… feed me!!

I’m not going to discuss Harry Potter here.  I read about three dozen Xanga sites that have gushed about it, but I personally can’t say one good thing about the series, so I’m not gonna go there.  I have never read it (much like the Left Behind phenomena), never will read it, and don’t really give a crap about it… outside of sharing the same sentiments as Mike Mickey, who wrote a very good little piece on it and the media’s surprising criticism of it.  Worth a look, I assure you.  Harry Potter: It’s just Clean Fun  Anyhow, this is the extent of the space I’m wasting on Harry.  The battle line is moving, and I’m holding my ground and keeping my stance on the issue.

I started a blog yesterday about fear, but it started out so pathetically whiney, and I’ve had to deal with so much BS in the interim that I’ve taken a different stance on the matter.  So I’m gonna write it from a different perspective, and state plainly that I was expecting to be afraid after seeing Constantine… and wasn’t.  I was expecting to see shadows over my shoulder and feel my heart pound at least every other hour from some self-inflicted paranoia… but I don’t.  And further, I’ve figured out what my problem has been for years.

Without going back over the details yet AGAIN, I’ve spent half my life afraid.  Seriously, deeply terrified.  My battle cry was “Lord, Help Me!” and I thought that was a GOOD thing, because it meant I was calling on the Lord to fight for me, and that’s what we’re supposed to do, right?  So whenever I got scared (which was A LOT, and not all of it was self-inflicted, as some of your remember)… I would squeeze my eyes shut and pray.

Lord, Help me.  Protect me.
Take away this fear.  Gird me.  Keep me close.
Shield me from danger.  Make the spiritual wickeness go away.

The list is a LOT longer, but I think you get the idea.  And even five minutes after I prayed these things, I’d find myself praying them all again – because I was still afraid.  Amazing, isn’t it?  The things we pray.  The CRAP we pray.  Yeah.  Crap.  Softened for people offended by Shit.  ((But it’s shit, too.))  The SHIT we pray.

Do you believe that the Lord is in control of everything?  Sure you do.  But do your words convey it?  Do your actions convey it?  Mine didn’t.  Look at them.  I was sitting in the arms of the Savior begging him to keep me safe.  Now how DAMN RETARDED is that?!?!!  Does it even make any sense?  Hello!!   What does He think about that?!  Fear is something we do to ourselves… that we can overcome because He’s ALREADY made us overcomers.  Danger is something we already have mastery over, because we are ALREADY shielded by the Master.  And as for asking for help… you don’t think we’ve already been helped?   Gotta verse for ya:

1 Corinthians 1:3-8   Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.  I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ; That in every thing ye are enriched by Him, in all utterance, and in all knowledge; Even as the testimony of Christ was confirmed in you: So that ye come behind in no gift; waiting for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall also confirm you unto the end, that ye may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Paul says we have Grace and Peace from God AND Jesus.  He says that we are given everything we need already… we don’t even have to ask.  We don’t need to ask for help, because we’ve already been given what we need for the situation.  We don’t need to worry, because we don’t lack ANYTHING.  E.V.E.R.  So what is our reaction to be?  Look for the little blue phrase, if you would.  Should we be praying for help?  Hell, no – we HAVE help, we should be so armed in our faith that all we have left to do is thank Him.  We should THANK God, not ask for what we already have.  And He gives us even more than that – do you see the two little teal promises?  The coming and the end?  Yeah.  We know how it ends.  And with what we have, there’s no need to worry, to fear, to ask for anything, or to do anything less than thank Him and stand firm.

Further… Anita?  I was wrong.  When I came down in panic and paranoia seeking any and all help I could get… I was wrong.  I had the help all along.  I just didn’t claim it.  I said I had faith, but where was it?  As James chapter 1 says, a man without faith is like a wave tossed to and fro.  And I was definitely to and fro, wasn’t I?

Amazing how much the perspective changes when you actually take up your faith and live with it.  Not just hiding behind it or using it when the need arises, but LIVE in it.  It’s only been a few years, but I’ve learned so much.  Seriously.  And I’m not afraid.  I don’t pray like that anymore.  I don’t have to ask for a thing.  Neither does anyone else who claims the name.  Is that not EMPOWERING?  Because of He that is in us, we have everything we’ll ever need.  We just need to claim it.  A-Mazing.

Okay.  So that was what I wanted to add at the end of my Constantine thang… but it seemed like it deserved its own blog, and I’m glad we gave it its own.  Now… if you’ll excuse me, I have a few things to take care of this morning.  ((wink!))

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