__________October 26, 2015__________

Identity Revealed!!

Good evening.

At least I hope it is.  It’s been one [H-E-double hockey sticks] of a day for me, lemme tell ya.

My day started out as any other Monday.  Get up when the spirit moves (or when the boys thump the speaker-thing I have hooked up to their room, and put their mouths on it and go, “Moooooooo-oooom.  It’ssssss morrrrrrrninnnnnng.”)  Today was a spirit moves kind of day, and I like those better.  I don’t roll my eyes before their open on those days.  I go to their rooms, hear them whispering, hear the whispers turn to mutters, and then I fling open the doors and sing (from ‘Singin’ in the Rain’) “Good Mornin’ “.  And get lots of hugs.  Then they take turns in the bathroom while I boot up the ol’ PC and prepare to write my morning e-mail to ***** while they all wake up, some.

Only today things didn’t go well.  I sent my e-mail off… and it came back immediately as ‘undelivered’.  Hrm!  So I tried it again.  Nope.  So then I went over to our other pathway e-mail (yeah!  We’re anb *AND* bna.  Jump back!)  And tried from there… and it came back undelivered.  Well… the thing is, we used to be paying customers of Pathwaynet, back when we had dial-up.  But three years or so ago, we went high tech (Oooo…) and gave up dial-up service.  But the e-mail still works at pathway, so that’s what I’ve mostly used.  My guy moved to Yahoo mail (and I have one there, that’s hooked up to my blog for anonymity), but I never go to either one of those.  My worry, though, was that Pathway finally was closing up our e-mail accounts, since we aren’t customers, anymore.  That would be horrible!

But then I thought maybe my other pen-pal might’ve closed his e-mail account?  Or maybe it was a Yahoo problem on his end?  So I went to my husband’s Yahoo, signed in, wrote a quickie test message, checked his profile and account info over to be sure our last name wasn’t on it, and sent it off to my friend… who immediately responded that it came thru.  And on the top of his response?  WAS MY LAST NAME.  Now I realize that isn’t a biggie for you – you shared yours pretty much right from the get-go.  But I’m a worrier/panicker.  And d’ya know what I immediately did?  I freaked THE heck out, all OVER the place.  In four-part harmony, by myself.

Rant time:  What gives Yahoo the right to follow me around the ‘Net, and glean information to put on our e-mails WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION!?!?!  I’m just sayin’.  Cuz I’m pretty *darn* sure we would NEVER put a last name on an e-mail account.  I had to do a search on how to locate the sender information to change it, and it’s not even in the account information section!  It’s a MESS!!  It’s fixed now, but… I sent my last name to some guy that I… okay, I know you guys *somewhat*, but it’s just what you tell me, and I have trust issues (among vast and sundry other problems), and… and…!!!!!

I spent all day in a total state of panic, absolutely sick to my stomach.  All through Monday school (which by rights should be TOTALLY distracting), all the way through everything else (critters, board games, costume tweaks, my guy’s lunch call, etc).  I was a mess.  It’s WRONG.  It’s invasive, it’s against my wishes, it’s… I’ve been V.I.O.L.A.T.E.D.  And yes, I know it’s not a big deal to anyone else, and it probably shouldn’t be to me, but IT JUST IS.  Because I suck.  And am wiggy.  Pretty much all the time.

Ended up calling Pathway.  They said Yahoo is kicking back all emails sent from their server.  They can’t figure out why, and there’s no fix for it.  So… what?  What do I do?  I don’t know what to do.  Except be completely beside myself, because myself is already beside me, and it’s just the way things sit.  Metaphorically speaking.

Then came lap swim and dance class.  Which was convoluted, because a) I pulled a stupid muscle sleeping last stupid night.  In my shoulder.  And I’m not gonna sit around and moan and whine about it, but I considered NOT swimming, because of it.  But ended up going, anyhow, because what am I, anyhow – a pansy?  I don’t think so!  I’ll swim thru durn near anything, you just watch n’ see.  But we were also convoluted because b) Lydia’s dance was a Halloween party – wear costumes!  I got the Gimli helmet done, and we dressed her (halfway) up, and she’d be at swim in part of her costume.  I also borrowed her Camilla the chicken, so that I could be a geek in costume, with her.  A soggy chicken, but poultry, nonetheless.

Lap swim was *interesting*, tonight.  Because I’ve told you the only people there besides me swimming are a group of idiot teenage boys?  Well, one discovered Lydia, tonight.  He came over, sat down beside her, and was impressed with her cosplay outfit.  She was squirmy, he left, and I figured she chased him off.  Girl after my own heart.  But he came back.  And this time, he hung around for a while, talking with her.  Well, that just opened the door for one of his friends to notice, and come over and ‘just see what his friend is up to’, and of course because there’s already someone talking to her, teen kid #2 has to be louder and dumber to get attention… and she just hasn’t ever had any exposure to guys, yet.  She was looking pretty piqued, so I climbed out a little early, made excuses about having to get on costumes, and she BOLTED out of there at the excuse.  LoL!!  But I told her… it’s okay.  You can make friends with a dude.  It doesn’t have to be all date-oriented or boyfriend oriented.  Just play nice, be yourself.  It’s no big.  She’s… a little mortified and out of her element.  Boy, do I know that feeling…!

Dance SUCKED.  Nobody dressed up except Lydia… so it’s a good thing that I was in full Camilla the Chicken attire.  She wasn’t alone, that way.  And everyone loved our costumes, but why hand out ‘party’ papers with ‘wear costumes!’ on it, if nobody dresses up?  Anyhow, the three classes held during that hour got together and had cider and donuts, and Lydia’s class performed for the other two (but the other two wouldn’t perform for them).  My girlfriend and I – being the only moms around – were invited in to the party, too.  I think mostly it was because I was in costume, and that helped the Halloween-y mood.  R’something.  But Lydia was disappointed.  I figure it doesn’t matter – she looked GREAT.

When I got home, ***** had opened another e-mail, specifically for me to be able to send to him.  Which is nice n’ all, but I could’ve done that from my guy’s Yahoo.  And I just… whatever.  I sent off the mail I wrote before the whole debacle, but things feel funky.  Is it me?  Should I just stop being a pansy and weirdo and just deal?  Because part of me feels like I’ve been exposed, and that’s a serious ending note, y’know?  I still don’t know what to do.  And I hate it all.

So the moon’s messed with my e-mailing groove, this time… that stinks, for the record.  It also apparently did a number on the Hindu Kush region of Afghanistan.  Did you see that quake on the IRIS map?  Wow.  Impressive.  Not quite Chile or Honshu, Japan, but still very nice!  For an earthquake, I mean.

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