__________November 30, 2015__________

Monday Madness

It’s Monday.  Garfield (the cat) is right – Mondays aren’t all that wonderful.  Not even on a good one… and today is NOT a good one.  If yours is a good day, feel free to ignore me, completely.

I spent half of yesterday cringing, because my guy was reading an e-mail I had sent out… and found ALL sorts of errors in it.  He insists that I need to NOT send any e-mails out until he proofreads them for me (like I’m gonna wait for that).   “You have a coronary or an ulcer, not a hernia!”  He chided me, and I realized in horror that I really did write the wrong dang word in there – not even THINKING.  Good merciful Lord, I’m an idiot!!  “It’s the cliche thing.  You should warn people,” he advised, chuckling.

So FINE – I have one really terrible fault that you should know about:  I can’t get a single cliche right, ever.  In my cliches?  Chickens get spanked and monkeys get choked.  I have hernias – not ulcers, coronaries or cows.  (Wait… yeah, it’s ‘have a cow’.  Okay.)  It’s terrible.  Now you know.  If I butcher cliches in upcoming e-mails, know that it’s nothing unusual.  If I get things wonky and twisted around and all wrong?  It’s a commonplace occurrence.

It’s not just that – I say things backwards ALL the time.  I don’t know if I’m thinking faster than my mouth can keep up or what, but ‘bottle of wine’ becomes ‘waddle of bine’, and ‘tending critters’ is often ‘crending titters’… it’s truly pitiful.  Embarrassingly, horrifically pitiful.  My kids laugh like crazy.  My guy teases me a lot.  I should just not talk at all, if you want to know the truth.

Because I’m *not* smart.  Cal was USAFSS – the best of the best.  The smartest that came thru.  Then there’s C****, with his masters and PhD, and K****, who’s almost done with his THIRD degree…!!  Can I land a normal person to write to, someone who won’t intimidate me?  Nooooooooo.  I have to get the three smartest people in the entire universe, and I’m over here, with my goats n’ chickens n’ kiddos, an unfinished degree (singular), and it turns out that I’m the hick and the loser in the whole equation.  Homigosh, that’s an awful realization!!!

I’m still three books behind on GoodReads.  Even having read three books, this week.  I can’t catch up!  Stupid challenge.  Doesn’t it realize I have a life, too?!  Anyhow, it’s been traumatic, over there.  Saturday some woman apparently found my reviews, and liked ELEVEN of them.  In a row!  I don’t even know who she is, and she’s all lurkin’ me up.  Skeery as shit.  And as if that weren’t enough, someone named ‘Persephone’ wants to be my friend.  That’s a loaded name, and it was sending a message.  Idiot – like I’d accept a friend request like that?!  I’m not THAT stupid.  But it made me antsy, too.

Anyhow.  Something good.  I should write something good about now.  Let’s see.  We found CD #2 of my ‘Bread’ collection, last night.  That’s huge – it’s been missing for two years!  Now if only I could find Iona’s ‘Journey into the Morn’.  That’s been missing since Owen was born, and I’m kind of thinking it’s time to give up and buy a new one.  I have other Iona albums, but that one was always my favorite.  But finding the ‘Bread’ CD was pretty darn exciting, last night.

What else?  Oh, I got an invite from a friend in our old town to come to their community performance of ‘The Messiah’ this coming weekend.  The whole town does ‘The Messiah’ every three years, free to the public.  I sang in it, nine years ago (is that right?  I think that’s right.  I’m doubting EVERYTHING, today.)   Anyhow, the theatres and schools and community college and area philharmonic… they all come together and do this HUGE production.  It’s a very artsy town, and I use to be very involved – as recently as this May (Lydia and I drove up and did a concert with them).  But anyhow, they invited her and I to sing ‘The Messiah’, but I couldn’t.  I can’t sing ‘Jee-zus’, over and over and over again.  It would drive me insane.

But a friend invited us personally via Facebook to come see it.  Turns out he’s directing, this year.  He shouldn’t be directing, he should be singing – the man is a phenomenal bass… just sayin’.  Anyhow, now I’m doing this whole internal debate thing.  ‘The Messiah’ is classical.  George Frederick Handel, for pity’s sake.  It’s a masterpiece – a cornerstone, something the kids really should experience, at LEAST once.  It’s got educational value, from a music history standpoint.  And we’d get to see a LOT of old friends – the people we sang with in May, and all of my thespie friends from a decade or two ago, and it’d be fun to say hello, but… the whole Jee-zus thing just… it’s a Christmas program, heavy on the manger, magi, angels, and swaddling clothes.  Everything I reject.  I don’t know.  I’m still… really considering it, though.  Or trying to talk myself into it, anyhow.

Anyhow, it’s time to go.  I’ve got craziness over on this side, and it has to be handled, and… best to get it done and over with, right?  Hope this hasn’t driven you mad.  If so, it’s just a Monday.  It’ll be okay, again, tomorrow.
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