__________ February 16, 2016 ___________

Crowded Lanes

Today, I’m writing mostly about SWIM last night.  Swim was HELL, my friends.  I may have to give up going.  That can’t happen again, though.  It was horrible.  I mean, people come, people go… none of them have longevity or stamina.  Kathy, Bearded flipper, Hoss-chick, swim coach…  But it’s always been one at a time.  Last night was NOT one at a time.

And it’s all my fault. I did a stupid thing – I thought, “Wow, what a slow weekend – I had barely anything to write about in the e-mails.  Maybe something will happen tonight at swim or dance.”  NEVER tempt fate by saying – or even THINKING! – something like that.  Swim has already been better – having swim coach having them leave up a lane for lap swimmers and having the lifeguards play music.  I should’ve been happy.  I shouldn’t have put that out there!

Last night was the most complicated, overwhelming MESS of a lap swim that I’ve ever had.  I got there, and swim coach was there with his lane and his boombox.  That’s good (for the music) and fine (for him being there).  But there were TWO other women, on the other side of his lane (where I usually swim), with towels and kick-boards and water-bottles and… the whole scene SCREAMED of ‘high maintenance’, y’know?  Anyhow, I swam down, because… well, where they were was the only place to swim without getting beaned with a freakin’ football or a flying teen girl launching off a friends’ shoulder or something stupid.  And when I get there, swim coach hands *ME* a lane, and asks me to hold it while he gets the tool to hook it up.  He was putting in another lane!!

I was ALL freaked out.  I figured he gave it to me (and not the high-maintenance chicks where were talking a MILE a minute) because he was indicating that I was invited to use the lane, too?  Anyhow, there was no other choice – the football game was much bigger than usual this time – they barely have any regard for the lane.  It was worse pandemonium than I’d ever seen.  I couldn’t refuse the lane.

So one girl swam with swim coach in his lane (thank GOD it didn’t have to be me!!!!) and I swam in with the other girl.  Neither of them did much swimming – a lot of chatting and water-sipping and *looking* like they were swimmers… r’something?   I don’t know.  I don’t do women.  Or men, for that matter.  Or anyone.  WHy WeRe THeSe PeoPLe SHoWiNG uP aND RuiNiNG STuFF!?!?!?! When the chick in my lane did swim, she was FAST – and I’m just totally not.  So I was trying to keep out of the way… ish… sort of.  Not knowing how.  It was messy.  Have I mentioned I don’t do people?  AT. ALL.  Really, this was too much for me.  I couldn’t talk to them, and definitely wasn’t talking to swim coach (on top of everything else, a guy?  Absolutely NO).  I don’t do talking to male type people on a good day.  One on one I can manage one syllable politeness, but there are ramifications afterwards.  With vast amounts of trepidation.  Two lanes of people?  Homigosh, I was having heart palpitations!

And then…!!!  Some BIG lady comes over in a swim cap and goggles and asks if she can use our lane, too.  ((!!!….sure?… !!!!))  So now there are THREE of us… and… I… NO.  No, you don’t understand… it was just… NO.  I was *DONE*.  I left really, really, early.  Didn’t get a good work-out in, at all.  I couldn’t do it.  <<<PEOPLE!!>>>  Let them swim.  I’ll go home and be fat before I can handle that kind of a set-up!!  I was utterly done.

Naturally, the moment I climb out, the two high maintenance chicks get out, and now there’s no peace in the shower -OR- dressing room, either!!  I hide to dress, so that’s not an issue, but… noisy!  Women are so NOISY!  I don’t like them.  They peeved me, anyhow – if I’d known they were getting out, I could’ve swam more…!  Except they probably wouldn’t have gotten out, if I hadn’t, right?  GAH – PEOPLE!!!!!!!  THIS is how people are.  Moronic.  I hate them all.  No, really.  Alone is good.  Alone is uncomplicated.

And worse?  I was so flustermicated, I didn’t thank swim coach for the additional lane.  How ungrateful and ungracious is THAT?!  But honestly, I don’t know if I could’ve handled talking to him, anyhow, to be honest.  I’ll do it next time.  If there *is* a next time.  Because I always worry that this is going to be a regular thing for the new people who show up, and… and… no mi gusta.  I really liked it better last week, with a lane to myself and music without the headache of humans.

And THIS is what happens when I think that things are too tame.  Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…!!!!   I won’t ever complain about peace and calm and uneventfulness, again!  Just take them all away!

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