__________ March 25, 2016 ___________

Rocks, Minerals, and BIG boys!

Yesterday we went to a ‘Rocks & Minerals’ presentation at the library.  It was announced in the eleventh hour yesterday morning on that local homeschool group on FB, and I (mistakenly) thought it was an actual library event that they were promoting because of it’s value to homeschoolers.  I was very wrong – it was NOT a library event – the library just offered up itself as a larger venue for the presentation.  No, this was a Classical Conversations event, come to find out.

It was very good – the man was actually a hydro-geologist, but he knew his stuff.  It wasn’t anything we hadn’t already learned from watching ‘Geology Kitchen’ clips on YouTube last year, but it was a good review, and the best part was that he brought half a ton of ROCK in, with him.  We got to see and touch sedimentary vs. metamorphic, you know?  Of course I have as much rock here at home – But he had pumice and sandstone and natural garnet and lava and rock from Death Valley… it was good stuff.  He had a bucket of rocks, and let each kid pick two.  Isaac got a petoskey, Owen got granite, Lydia got a strange fossil with long lines down it.  Very fun.

Except… Classical Conversations, y’know?  Classical Conversations is a homeschool program that basically has the family pay an obscene amount of money to participate, and then you have to buy the SAME materials as every other parent involved, and they dictate what you learn, when you learn it, and how you teach it.  I don’t LIKE that.  But it works for them, because then all of these kids are at the same place at the same time [need to interject: “For the love of Pete, they might as well send ’em to public school!!!!] and then they have certain subjects where the moms rotate and each mom takes a slot and teaches a particular lesson to ALL of the kids in the collective.

Which probably would be fine, if a) I liked/trusted the women, b) I wanted my kids with the hellions, and c) I was made of money, d) needed interaction, and e) was completely unimaginative.   Which…  yeeeeeeah.  Um, no.  I’m very grateful that they opened this up (even last minute) to everyone in-group, and I made sure to let them know we really appreciated it, but…

Can I be honest?  Not a ONE of those kids knew how to pass something around.  NOT. ONE.  You’d think if they do the group thing regularly, they’d have a grasp of passing things down rows.  But they’d be handed something, and look at it, and set it down next to themselves!  Or pass it three rows back to their big brother, and now two rows got skipped.  It was beyond my level of comprehension.  And of course the moms had NO idea what was going on – they were chitty-chatting in the back.  ((<<< EXACTLY what happens when these moms get together, and it’s why the kids are pushy, unfocused, distracted…))  There was a good half of the kids disrespecting the speaker, and none of the parents were paying attention (unless someone started screaming)!  I didn’t like *any* of them.  There were seven year olds having total LOUD meltdowns in a *library!!*  Seven!  There’s no reason for that.  I… don’t like other people’s kids.  I just don’t.

After that, we went and got gas (it stopped on $22.22!) and then we went to Taco Bell for Sketch Thursday.  I’m not sharing pictures, this week.  We made it to the 2013 Sketch Archive (gleaning from HarmonyFineArts), and the topic this week was ‘Friendly Monsters’.  It kind of fit, since it’s Purim and we were dressing up, no?  But our monsters got… trippy.  It’s not share-able stuff.

Oh, and the hair-dryer blew up, yesterday.  Well, we knew it was on it’s last leg – it kind of started sounding like a rabid screeching elephant this past week.  It’d been spurting before that – I took to unplugging it between uses, just in case.  But yesterday Lydia went to do her bangs, and it imploded and the bathroom filled with smoke and stank like something burned up.  Which… y’know?  It did.  😛  Anyhow, we went and got a new hair dryer after sketching.  It’s fold-up-able!  Jump back.

Yesterday was a BIG DAY in our house, because I’ve put down the gauntlet and told Brian that IT IS TIME to teach Owen to pee standing up.  Now this is always a hot topic, because it’s something I can’t do.  I don’t have the equipment, you see.   And while I can float a square of TP and tell the kid to sink it, it’s not like I really belong doing that particular bout of training.  Brian… doesn’t want the job.  And he’s put it off by saying that Owen was too short, but that’s not the case, anymore.  His new excuse is that Owen’s junk is too teenie-weenie-peenie.  Like that matters?!  The boy is six – it’s time to learn to pee like a MAN, hello!!  So we started, last night.

Here’s a funny (and don’t mock me for this, but), when I had him sitting down, boys… erm, don’t wipe.  So I had him ‘shake it off’ by wiggling.  Only he didn’t wiggle much, so I had him slap his thigh, which shook him enough to… ANYHOW!  So Brian had him in the bathroom, last night, and Owen ‘sank’ the TP from a standing position, and Brian told him, “Now, shake it off.”  And Owen slapped his thigh.  Brian about busted a GUT!!  Homigawsh!!

Worse?  (And you thought that was funny…!)  This morning I asked if he wanted Ethan or Isaac to go in with him, but he insisted it be me.  ((((Oi.))))  So he has to completely undress (!!) and then he sinks the TP, and I don’t know WHAT Brian didn’t tell him last night, but I said, “Okay, now shake it off.”  And he starts (*giggles!*) GYRATING his hips – no hands – and he’s whipping it around in circles!!  HomiGAWSH, I totally lost it!!!  (*more giggles!!!!*)  SO wrong.  I’m not going to get that image out of my mind for a LONG time!!  And it wouldn’t have been so bad, but we’d just seen Elmo & Natalie Portman on ‘Shalom Sesame: Purim’ the night before – and Elmo had this elephant trunk on that he was whipping around exactly the same way.  { https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9nq-HUHpdY ]

I’m traumatized.

Worse now. (Back from breakfast and morning school, btw.)  Did you know that today is Good Friday?  I didn’t realize that.  Well, isn’t that just peachy.  :/  The conversation at the table went something like this:

Ethan:  What is ‘Good Friday’?
Lydia:  It’s the day they tortured, beat, and crucified Messiah.
Aaron:  That’s not ‘good’!!!
Isaac:  He died for your sins.
Aaron:  Okay, THAT part is good.
Lydia:  It’s the wrong month for this…!!!

Yeah.  Anyhow, today is the most likely day for a while that we’ll be hit by a meteor.  That it’s ‘Good Friday’ is fitting.  I should sign in Facebook and see if it’s happened, already.  Hang on…  Nope, dammit, no meteor.  But my friend Missy had her baby, last night!!  Yay!!!!

Gonna have to avoid FB for three days, though.  The Ishtar from my friends is going to be BAD, from the looks of things.  Un. Cool.

And it looks like (ironically) there’s a Matrix link in the ‘entertainment’ section.  Hahahaha.  Apparently Smith is now being declared the actual Savior? [https://www.facebook.com/topic/The-Matrix/113401482006986?source=whrt&position=4&trqid=6265989241687031849 ]  Oh, now… That. Does. It.  It’s time for a meteor.  I can’t believe THAT wouldn’t go unanswered by the Almighty.  O_o   What on earth is this world coming to?!?!  As it is, I had to pull the Woman in the Red Dress down from my site, because I read last week that she has now been proclaimed to represent Mystery Babylon.  Heresy!!!  I can’t even…!  And now Smith – the Satan figure – is the Savior?!?!

No.  Just… no!!

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