____________ April 19, 2016 ___________

The Great Lamb Adventure

I’m having a rather frantic week.

Yesterday’s goal was to crop/page as many of the 570-some pictures as I could – ALL of them, if at all possible.  Yes, school, critter tending, swim, and dance were in there, but MOST of the day would be one big picture push.  As you’re probably already suspecting… this didn’t happen.

No, at noon this guy I know (wink, wink) called up, and he says that he needs me to take in two chainsaw chains and have them sharpened, buy another the same size, and get a six-pack of Stihl oil.  (<< I thought he said ‘steel oil’.  I can be clueless, at times.  No smirking allowed.)  Anyhow, I *did* need to run to the bank and then there was the lamb thing… it wouldn’t be rushed if we did it in the afternoon, right?  So it looked like an errand day.  NOT my original plan!

So bank, chainsaw place, then the grocer’s… and they didn’t have any lamb.  “We only carry it around Easter, for the christians”, they said.  Um… why?!?!  Christians eat Easter HAM, hello.  It’s always been Easter HAM.  It’s tradition.  And if they were doing it for Passover… passover is this week!  I was thwarted by stO_opid poser christians!!!  ((<<< the WORST kind of all!))  Insert miffed blonde here.

So I drove to the next closest tow… it’s a place that’s pretentious to the Nth.  No, seriously, their grocery store is gourmet.  It’s really just another D&W supermart, but because they’re them, their D&W is gourmet.  Have I also mentioned I mostly avoid this town?  Except I figured if anyone’s going to have lamb, it’d be the gourmets.  Oi, my vey.  And they did!  They had ground up lamb, in a tiny little gourmet burger tray… or cubed up little lambie-cubes, for gourmet lamb stew.  Um… no.  NOT what I was hoping for.

There were two other options: to find someone who raised/sold lamb and the meat thereof (ugh?!) -OR- Byron Center Meat Locker.  It’s on the complete opposite side of Grand Rapids from where I was, but the Byron Meat Locker has been around since I was in diapers, and I hear they have more meat than you can shake a fist at.  I’ve never been, personally, but my mom has gone there for years.  So I decided to CALL (before schlepping our lamb-less selves across town) to find out if they had what we wanted.  Have you ever used Directory Assistance?  It’s all automated BS with a robotic woman who has NO clue what she’s saying.  She couldn’t find Byron Center Meat Locker – and the place is practically an institution, hello!  Then she gives a robot list of things similar (or not at all)… Byron Center High School.  Byron Center Baptist Church.  Um…?!

We drove to Byron Center.  The Meat Locker has a full sized COW on the top of the sign, raised up eighteen feet in the air.  The processing and packaging center (attached to the store) takes up half a city BLOCK, I’ll have you know.  And not even the operator at directory assistance could find it.  Pitiful.  Useless.  I was kind of miffed.  More.  Miffy-more?  Directory Assistance is just lucky ‘Byron Center Meats’ (<< they dropped the ‘Locker’ off the name, apparently, but still…!) had lamb.  We got our lamb, but by the time all was said and done, we’d been THREE HOURS running errands.  Do you think God will give me an extra crown in Heaven for the sheer determination, effort, and hassle?  Yeaaaah, probably not.  [[[[sniff.]]]]

Pool is still closed.  My hiney is spreading as we speak.
I can’t even talk about it.
Change the subject.
Please.

Dance was fun.  At Taco Bell they asked me what my name was.  I told them ‘Louise’.  Belatedly, I attributed it to another female duo – ‘Thelma & Louise’ – and I quickly turned around and assured BFF she *didn’t* have to use the name ‘Thelma’ – that she could just be my Thelma in my heart.  She laughed, because apparently I’m a moron.  Then I got to the table and told the girls, and when she came, her DD asked her what name she used.  “Thelma.”  She grinned wickedly.  I love my bestie – she plays along well.

When they called me up, they called ‘Lois’.  I wisely didn’t tell her she’d have to change to ‘Clark’.  😛

So!  TODAY is a huge day of scrapbooking as many pictures as humanly possible  It’s supposed to cool down – back to the 50s and 60s in temperature, the rest of the week.  That would be nice.  I’m hoping to pull up the big patio umbrella today and set myself up out on the deck, with ‘The Guillotine’ (<< paper chopper) and double-sided sticky tape.  It’s going to be a total BLITZ.  It needs to be done.

Oh… and first snake of the year, yesterday.  The boys were playing in Moria (our woods) and they were invaded.  It was about 24 inches, and NOBODY is willing to go in the woods, now.  If I go out on the deck, it will urge them back towards the play areas, slowly.  That’s the intention, anyhow…!  But nobody was happy.

And from what I hear, it was a good trip to Grandma’s for the boy’s, last night.  Ethan found a BIG petoskey stone out in Grandpa’s field.  Really nice one, too!  And Brian got their trash and the trailer.  Did I tell you we bought a new grill Sunday after Carmina Burana?  Our old one kicked the bucket… so tonight hopefully he’ll have time to set that up on the back deck.  I really shouldn’t be tap dancing, you know this, right?  I should be home, raking around the back deck, getting it nice and preparing the spot for the grill.  I should be helping him, not tippity-tapping around like… like Strawberry Shortcake.  I’m such a disappointment!!

Anyhooooo… I hope the weather is nice for you.  That it’s warm and sunny.  That your day is blessed!

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