____________ May 03, 2016 ___________

Tap Troubles

Things are not much better.  I’m having severe dance studio issues.  Mz. Jen and I… well, she never liked me, and it’s gone to a WHOLE new level, and I just can’t even talk about it.  I’m hoping that I can distance from the emo, since the rest of the week is away from there, but the problem is that we’re coming up on recital time.  Which means we’re there (not next week – that’s normal – but the week after) Monday for Lydia’s class, Tuesday for my class, Thursday at the venue for Lydia’s rehearsal, Friday at the venue for my rehearsal, we have to stay later for photos for both Lydia’s and my classes, and then that Saturday the recitals are at 2:30 and 6pm (with the ballet as an ‘intermission’ in between, although I hear there will also be a break between for people to go and eat).

That much time with Mz. Jen at this point in my life sounds like absolute HELL.  My one goal is to stay a far out of her way as possible.  And I didn’t even *DO* anything.  She is just one of those women who – when stressed out – is IN-YO’-FACE, and I can’t even.  And with it now being crunch time, she’s seriously stressed.  She lashes out, and then laughs afterwards to soften it.  (Not in my case – I really don’t warrant the ‘haha’ softening.)

I already talked about problems from Monday that I had with her.  Well, it carried over into last night, and all I’ve wanted to do ever since is cry, and how damn adult is THAT?!  This is exactly why I don’t like the peoples.  The peoples always, always make me feel like I’m somehow bad.  I don’t need that.  I’d rather be alone in the trees and happy than in town and with people and unhappy.

Dance was brutal, last night.  First, she added yet another minute of dance moves to the song, which – when you say it like that – doesn’t SOUND like much, but a minute is a long time on stage, believe you me.  It’s a LOT of dance to learn, and most of us went into class NOT having the moves from the minute she added the week before.  (Our song(s) is(are) now longer than Lydia’s dance number, and she’s been dancing since she was three.  I’ve danced… oh, since this January…?)   I’m 120-ish pounds heavier than my girl, I’m 27 years older than my girl, our dance is longer than my girl’s… and after throwing another minute’s worth of complicated tape sequences at us, Mz. Jen calls in three classes (not simultaneously – one after the other) and has us ‘show’ our dance to the classes.  Three times in a row.  This was after a full class (class went 30 minutes over, yesterday!)

HOT.  HomiGAWSH were we hot!  There are something like twenty women in our class, then add in all the extra bodies, and it’s HOT… then we’ve been dancing hard for ninety minutes, so… *HOT*.  Sweat running down our faces. We’re old girls!  It’s kind of astounding, that we’re doing as much as we are.

And while the first part (‘Mamma Jamma’) looks great, the second part (‘Brick House’) has gotten crazy.  I am NOT spanking my own hiney while gyrating in a circle, thankyouverymuch. One lady – when faced with the Soul Train line improv said, “I did not sign on for this.”  Mz. Jen just ha-ha-ha-ed it off.  I think people are serious about this, though – and not just me.  The studio’s front desk lady is in our class, and THANK GOODNESS she stopped Ms. Jen from adding this move where we drop into a frog-like crouch and slowly shift our pelvises out to the audiences in some porn move.  She said, “There are preschoolers present, that’s NOT acceptable.”  Mz. Jen swatted her and said, “I hate you!”  If it’d been me?  She’d’ve gone all biz-atch in my face, so I’m glad someone else put a stop to it.

I’ve decided – though – to be ‘cute granny’.  I’m going clean, as much as possible.  Mz. Jen is too busy shakin’ her thang to notice.  Lydia was there, last night, to tape it for me (she didn’t – she accidentally hit the wrong button and took four blurry pictures, instead.  Not very helpful.)… anyhow, Lydia said that a LOT of the women are dropping the skankier parts.  Like only half of the class is actually ‘hoisting the girls’.  I’m glad.

I put my costume together yesterday and tried it on.  The kids just LAUGHED and laughed!  Although I think I’m dropping the wig idea.  It’s just too hot.  I’m wearing a hat with a HUGE hot-pink, sparkly flower on it, so that will hide my hair anyhow.  And I always knot the rest back in a low bun for class, so that’ll work as granny-ish.  The only thing I wish is that my shoes were black.  They match my knee-high nylons, and that’s annoying to me.  It’s two dances – I’ll deal.  (Or maybe find black knee-high nylons?)

I had the kids catch the drakes on Monday and we clipped their wings and threw them in with Zack (<< boy goat).  This had to happen because a) they won’t stop brutalizing the girl ducks [Note:  Did you know drakes have spiral shaped penises? Biology lesson of the day Gives new meaning to ‘screwing’, but I digress.]… where were we?… oh!  b) because they’re PIGS, and I needed their mess further away, c) Zach is lonely since Zeke died, so they’ll be company for him, d) Zack is as big a pig… and pigs of a feather flock together.  R’something.  Anyhow, we need to relocate the aviary this summer, anyhow.  We’re going to have to add on to the house, eventually… and when we do, it’s expanding where the aviary is.  It’d be nice to dry up and break down the chicken/duck poo in that area, first.  Just sayin’.

Brian doesn’t like the idea of putting birds in with goats, because there’s no roof.  He’s worried that they’ll get attacked by hawks.  I figure that the goats will deter the hawks, there’s the shelters to run/hide in if need be, and even if a hawk DOES get a drake (and would they?  Drakes are BIG for a hawk.)… isn’t that the way of nature?  I don’t know, that’s probably me being all harsh.

It’s electronic Wednesday, so I’d better go work on my story while I have a chance, here.  My impala (<< no deer in Africa, sadly… had to adapt the story to fit)’s boyfriend is about to elope with her sister.  And I thought I had problems.  *snort!!*  Oi, my vey.   Even writing this stuff is a major indication that I really do have issues, you know this.

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  1. Carmen

     /  May 11, 2016

    Spiral shaped penis 🙂 There is no doubt I learn something new everytime I read your blog lol. By the way, a couple of your protected posts won’t open (using password). Perhaps you have protected certain ones with a different password for privacy & if so, that’s ok! Just thought I’d let you know. I’m not Nancy & Cinco are 2 for example that won’t open.

    Still love your blog so much even though I don’t comment often.


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