Two Steps Back

Sometimes I get so tired of explaining the same thing to dense people.  How many times do I have to share the same verses to counter beliefs that have no verses to back them up?

I just… sheesh.  I got off the phone with my mom yesterday, and that woman gets so dang confused over nothing.  Well, no – it’s not nothing – she’s having EXACTLY the trouble I warned her she’d have if she didn’t stop digging into Catholicism.  She’s confusing Biblical principles with Catholic principles and not remembering which are right and so her beliefs are mixing with Catholic beliefs and she can’t keep them straight and is getting frustrated by finding herself contradicting scripture with Catholic beliefs that she doesn’t even hold to.  You can’t fight a battle if you’re following two opposing battle plans – it just doesn’t work.

By the way, did you know that the analogy used most often to describe the Christ-follower in Scripture is that of a soldier?  We are to fight the good fight, be overcomers, battle for the Lord, gird ourselves, put on the whole armor… pretty kewl!

She got so frustrated by herself halfway thru the call that she said “I don’t care – forget it.  It doesn’t matter.  I’m just gonna quit church entirely, nobody will miss me and they all teach lies, anyhow. I’m better off without it.”

It pissed me off, to be blunt.  So I retorted (rather testily) “Yeah, good idea.  Fuck the good fight.  Screw running the race.  Who wants to believe Truth, anyhow?”  She backpedaled a little after that.  But SHEESH…!!  I’m not normally an ‘f’ curser, but it made my point quickly.

I went to Bible study last night and was told bluntly that scripture is interpretated differently by everyone, and that we just have to accept everyone’s beliefs.  I just about blew an internal gasket – how many ways can you interpret “no man cometh unto the Father but by Me?”  Cop-outs.  Lies.  Tolerance that Christ never endorsed.  I can’t talk to these people.  I don’t even know where to begin sorting out the humanism from the modernism from the protestantism from the TOTAL BS.  That’s why the Bible says “Broad is the way and many are the paths that lead to destruction.  Because they all many, but form one big MESS.

Brian says they need me.  What they need is a pastor who preaches the Truth.  I’m not a pastor.  I’m a chick that already talks too much and is groaned at because I open my Bible and share verses… I guess that makes them feel like they look bad, because they lost their workbooks and haven’t done any lesson preparation in five weeks, and think I John and John are the same thing.  (Last night we learned there are four books called John in the New Testament.  That’s progress, I guess.)  Bible study is a joke.

I told my mom I should give up on small group and take a Theology class somewhere.  She said, “Don’t bother – they’ll just teach you that David and Johnathan were homosexuals.”  Never thought about that before, but I guess they probably would.  Ack – it’s frustrating.

I’d be satisfied if I were sharing truth thru my Fundamentals class, but I’m not even a teacher… STILL.  I’m going to the church office today to get my John White book back and politely tell them that after waiting FOUR MONTHS to be slated into a class slot, I’m done playing around with this Fundamental Christianity position.  All I wanted to do was help teach the true Gospel.  And I could see if there were things they were waiting on… but they’re just picking their butts month after month.  It’s a church that starts things and never follows thru.  I’m not gonna hang and hang on this issue.  Either there’s gonna be a class, or there isn’t.  But this is ridiculous.

My accountability thang has to wait another few days.  My mom brought up a point that I hadn’t considered, and I have to do some digging into Jewish rites and customs before I can finish it off.  Which is a good thing, since I was pretty pretzeled trying to figure out exactly what the Truth is.

The one good thing I have grasped this past week is that just because people are believe BS doctrine doesn’t mean they’re not true Christians.  People who believe BS core aren’t Christians, but just three years ago, I believed a lot more BS than I do now… and that doesn’t mean I wasn’t washed by the one-time gift of Christ’s blood for my sins.  It just meant I believed women couldn’t preach, we go to heaven when we die, Christmas and Easter were ‘basically’ Christian, and other stuff that doesn’t hold Biblical water.  That’s all.

And my calling seems not to be evangelism to the lost, but to strengthen those within.  I’m a spiritual dietician – I get people who are stuck drinking milk up and beyond into taking solid foods and eventually steak.  That’s my gift, it seems.  I just am a little frustrated with people who can’t even keep milk down… because I don’t know how to make progress when there’s no stability to begin with.

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