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The Modesty Question
I have been made aware through about half a dozen blogs lately that there is a movement going on among the ‘holier than thou’ chickas. It’s been dubbed “The Return to Feminity”, and it’s basically that these ‘godly’ women feel that society has gone the way of Sodom and that in order to take it back to a holier level, we must burn our jeans, buy (or, more preferably, make) feminine, fitted, floral dresses that cover the knee (at the VERY least) and are reminiscent of Ma Ingalls, and become ‘modest women’.
Y’wanna know where I stand on this? I’ll tell you.
This is shit straight from the pit of Hell. There’s my stance.
What’s worst is that these women claim to have a Biblical Worldview, and want society to ‘return’ to the same view. ((Has society *ever* really had a Biblical worldview…? Just wondering, ’cause… I missed it, I think…)) They claim that it’s the Lord’s will that women be modest and feminine and housewifely and cross at the ankle and have ‘that christchun glow’. But the truth of the matter is that the ‘Biblical Worldview’ that I’ve noticed these women speaking out for DOES NOT SUPPORT the focus on one’s OWN femininity. It’s supposed to be a focus on God and His plan, not the focus on self and material goods.
I honestly believe this is one of Satan’s prime themes used to trip women of ‘faith’ up… to turn their attention to themselves (in the name of God, of course). What we wear and what we look like has *nothing* to do with God’s perfect plan, and Jesus said as much in John 7:24 when he said, “Judge not as to the APPEARANCE, but judge righteous judgment.” Yet what does this ‘femininity movement’ really focus on? This ‘dress wearing’ phenomena? It focuses on judging others in regards to what they wear, of course – the appearance. It’s wholly contradictory to the scriptures they ‘claim’ to be following!
And can you imagine such a ‘godly’ woman witnessing to someone in blood red lipstick, leather biker boots, and black nail polish like me? *IF* they were even of the mind to associate with a jean-wearing semi-‘goth’ heathen such as I (which would be shocking in itself), they would not only make the person feel inferior by their appearance, but there would be NO WAY the I’m-holier-than-you attitude wouldn’t factor into the conversation with the not-so-Donna Reed person. Do you think the whore at the well Jesus won for the kingdom would benefit from this movement, or be ostracized and feel further from them for the artificial piety? And is our job to reach others with the Truth, or to post pictures of our floral print, pleated waist dresses on our sites? Is it our femininity that matters, or our message?
Further, what does this message say when compared to the scripture mentioned? It says, “I’m concerned with self to the point where I disregard scripture and my personal message contradicts the faith I’m claiming. In short, look at me in my dresses – I’m a DAMN HYPOCRITE!!”
I’m sorry. A woman with a true desire after the things of the Lord wouldn’t delve into the legalism of this… Jesus wore a plain dress/robe. I wear black leather, blue jeans, and thick mascara. Both of us are children of the King… and by righteous judgment, will inherit all that the Father has promised. That’s my message. And it’s supported by Truth, doesn’t intimidate anyone (who isn’t self-righteous and legalistic – I purposely wear the black polish to identify the hypocrites, if you must know.), and doesn’t detract from my Biblical Worldview.
And I reckon that’s all I’ve got to say on the subject.
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nettieheidmann
/ April 11, 2007Welp, I had a whole big comment thing and then internet explorer had to restart. Where was I…
Oh yeah – I wanted to say I sympathize with your perspective on this. I was enmeshed for a while in such circles, and it has taken me a long time, and a lot of help from my husband, to recover my sense of BALANCE. The pressure to be “obedient” – to conform and perform according to a strict (and extrabiblical) set of standards, can be very spiritually oppressive.
On the other hand, I have met women who were simply and genuinely more comfortable wearing dresses and being girly, without any pretension or artifice. Their thing was their thing, and they didn’t have any interest in preaching or finger wagging.
I think, too, that it makes a difference when you actually know people, and are a part of one anothers lives. It is very easy in the blogosphere or in discussion forums where you seldom to never meet face to face, to let those fingers fly — and the judgements, thou shalts, and the “shoulds” — all in the name of being “Titus 2 Women”.
My opinion, after going around that block a few times, is that you can mentor someone you know, and only someone you know. Someone who comes to your house and sees how you keep it, sees how you raise your children, sees you when you’re at your best and less than your best. But you cannot presume to throw down stipulations for those you never even have the chance to meet.
My two cents.
MTnesting
/ April 11, 2007I agree with you! I don’t think anyone should tell someone else what they should or shouldn’t wear. (accept your mama) Once again, I believe that first we should be in relationship with Christ and be conformed to the mind of Christ and in that…we probably will be convicted to be more modest…but as a LAW…nope! As a mom that had teenagers…a boy and a girl…..I taught my daughter that she should dress modestly because teenage boys had a difficult enough time with hormones, and the every worldly industry out there, let alone her going around half dressed. It can be a stumbling block to them and I didn’t promote that. I also tried to raise her with that understanding of how God valued her. Living in the world, there was plenty of importance of how she looked, because teenage girls get that from all sides. But, again law only makes you want to break it…the obedience of Christ must be your check….there must be a relationship for His guidance through the Holy Spirit. We are free to do what we want…but there are consequences for our actions if we are not following Him!
JennyG
/ April 11, 2007Right on, sistah! :vvv:
circumstances_mean_nothing
/ April 12, 2007“Y’wanna know where I stand on this? I’ll tell you. This is shit straight from the pit of Hell. There’s my stance.”tell me how you feel, Anna. hahahaBy far, one favorite lines!But I agree. I’ve written extensively about this (on forums and such). I never ceases to amaze me that women think that’s what being a follower of God is all about. Feminity is more about your relationship with God than anything else–outside appearance, relationship with men, dresses, or what have you. Only God, Creator of all, women included, can bestow on a woman the true meaning/significance/purpose of being a woman and the best way to live out such a role. I love how woman try to step into God’s shoes here. Totally inappropriate.<3Leeza
circumstances_mean_nothing
/ April 12, 2007HA! wow..so many typos. I am sorry, but it’s lat & I’m tired. I’m sure you’ll be able to piece it together despite me omitting words here and there..hehehehe
dorelynn
/ April 12, 2007Anna, you need to start renting Gilmore Girls or buy it on dvd. That is a series for you. You are a Lorelai in so many ways. To this entire movement I quote Lorelai Gilmore when speaking to her very proper stodgy mother, Emily Gilmore, while spending time together at a health spa. For the record, Lorelai would rather have walked through cut glass…LOL.
EMILY: Are you ready?LORELAI: Wow, you look great, Mom.EMILY: Are you being sarcastic?LORELAI: No, I’m being completely serious.EMILY: Oh, well, thank you. That’s a pretty color. What is that?LORELAI: It’s called Vicious Trollop.EMILY: Oh, stop it! Now why would you name a lipstick something like that?LORELAI: ‘Cause ‘dirty whore’ was taken?EMILY: You frighten me.And there you have it Miss Anna, in honor of you and your red lipstick. I just wish I could wear red. It doesn’t go well with my complexion. [sigh]
Kristenmomof3
/ April 12, 2007I just want to ask you a question. You know what the bible says about swearing right?I am only asking because you do swear in you thoughts on how people are to dress. And the bible says we shouldnt swear.
FKIProfessor
/ April 12, 2007In the words of Emeril: BAM.
:dance:
Anna
/ April 12, 2007The Bible says we shouldn’t swear by anything under the sun or the moon… that we should make our yes be yes and our no be no. But if you’re talking about ‘profanity’… other than the Lord’s name in vain, the Bible doesn’t forbid any specific words, and every passage ‘christchuns’ use to justify their legalism on this point is (in context) about MESSAGE (state of heart), not word usage.
But thank you for identifying yourself. It’s harder on-line where you can’t see my nail polish and be suitably appalled. :kewl:
JourneyOf7
/ April 12, 2007We came out of an extremely legalistic background – dresses only, no pierced ears, no TV, no music…. yada, yada, yada….. I hardly ever wear dresses now, although on occasion, I’ll put one on just b/c (mostly for John), I have pierced ears (again) etc. I’m really tired of people trying to take things & make them “necessary for salvation”. I’ve never seen anything in the Bible that says, “you must… wear dresses only” etc to be saved. It’s one thing if you choose to wear a dress b/c it’s more comfy to you, but to require it is totally wrong.
mtngirlsouth
/ April 12, 2007Having been raised in a church where it was preached from the pulpit that it was a sin to wear pants, I wholeheartedly agree with you, Anna. One thing I noticed was that while they were focusing on a mans hair length, they completely skipped the verse in the same passage that speaks about a womans hair length. So all those little old women who keep their hair short and curly are sinning, but it must be worse when a man grows his hair long. And then when I got older, and found out some of the other stuff that was going on in that church, well it is just a shame. While everybody was focused on hair length and skirt length, and makeup and jewelry, people were playing wife swap and really heavy things like that which are clearly wrong in the ten commandments. But they sure had on the proper clothes and haircut while they were doing it. Even the preacher was busy preaching against smoking, although he grew tobacco for a living! (No one seems to notice that any Bible verse they can use to condemn smoking would also condemn any kind of not being physically fit. It is amusing to see a big bellied preacher preach against smoking! – And, for the record, I don’t smoke, never have, so that is not what lead me to notice this particular hypocracy.) My take on the whole thing? We should just lead people to Christ and let the Holy Spirit deal with the rest. I used to get really cought up in all that too, having been raised in that type of environment. But there are too many people going to hell to worry about such things. I think that is what Jesus was hitting on when he said to wipe off the dust of your feet and move on. Maybe someone would take His message and get saved, and we need to move on to them, rather than let them die and go to hell while we were focused on those details. So that’s what I think. :o)
~Samantha
farmerswife
/ April 12, 2007Ha! the day I wear a dress every day and be Donna-frickin’-Reed will be the day, uh, I don’t know, hell freezes over I guess. LOL! I believe in dressing a little nicer for Church. Nice dresses or slacks (along with my new high healed black boots!) for me, dresses for my girls, jeans, boots and button-up shirts for the boys. What I’m saying is, I don’t wear my jeans with holes (Holy jeans? LOL!) to church. But if that is what you got, at least you made it that day, right?
Do you really think God cares what you are wearing? And if he is judging by how I talk, well, I guess I can kiss heaven good-bye! LOL! At least I cut down on the cussing around the kids. LOL!
evenavapor
/ April 12, 2007Amen!:thumbsup: I wear mostly dresses, I prefer the bohemian hippie style and I also enjoy wearing Indian Sari’s and tunics on occassion…and no, I didn’t make them (gasp):p. I wear them because the are comfortable and I certainly have nothing against black leather and red lipstick…it’s just that I hate makeup and black leather makes my skin itch:wink:
I’ve run around in those circles before and was even sucked into them for a bit…the reason I started wearing dresses in the first place. They are the same people who worship on the day of the sun god, particpate in his pagan festivals, believe in a pre-trib rapture, who have abolished Torah, made alcohol a one way ticket to hell, and many other things I can’t think of right now that I no longer believe are Biblical or true.
The Christian Life is sooooo much more than all that monkey crap that everybody makes such a big deal about. It’s not about what you look like or what you think, but what you do.
A woman is feminine by what she does…loving people, taking care of them, maternalness and caring for children, breastfeeding, being sexually enthralled with her husband, helping her husband, caring for the poor, teaching her children and being gentle with them, and many other things. It’s these things that make a woman feminine…whether she chooses to do it in Indian Sari’s, 18th century victorian dresses, or black leather is fine by me. I’m sure God could care less to
outofthefire
/ April 28, 2007My goodness, have you hit the nail on the head… That’s precisely why I left the last church I attended. They were too concerned about appearance that they insisted anyone serving on the platform be in a suit and tie (if a guy) or a dress (if a chicka). Yeah, that didn’t fly for me – I don’t even have to dress up that much for *work*…
ourredhouse
/ April 3, 2008My friend (another Aussie) married an American man from one of these churches. She nearly died haemmoraging (sp?) after having her first baby and when the ladies from her new church came to help her at home, they told her they wouldn’t come back because her skirts were too short and she needed to repent!
My friend is one of the strongest Christians from one of the finest families I have ever met, and she also happens to be a gorgeous, long-legged, tanned, naturally blonde Aussie girl who looks fab in above-knee-length skirts.
Kate