__________ September 08, 2015 __________

Vaccination Vent

It was not a good day for me, in any way, shape or form.  I’m a little loathe to admit that I’m …kind of in a funk, today.  Writing from a funk isn’t nearly as fun as the alternative, and I feel a little bit guilty about writing at all.

I had to take my girl to the doctor this morning.  It went horrifically.  We haven’t had to visit a clinic in years, thankfully, so I wasn’t nearly as prepared for dealing with the medical staff as I should’ve been.  And no worries – I was as kind as I could be, considering the… *barrage* launched against me, for lack of a better word.  But I was absolutely livid by the time we got out of there.  I was in SO desperate a need of venting.

There’s not a one of healthcare workers out there that isn’t obnoxious, pious, and apathetic.  I went to the reception desk, and gave over my cards, and she was inputting everything, and she said, ‘Who’s your primary physician?’  We don’t have a primary.  Our insurance changed, we went somewhere else for a year, and then it changed back, and I didn’t bother doing anything about it for four years.  I called for the appointment, they said we were still in-system, and gave us an appt with a nurse practitioner.  So I told her, we don’t have one.  She then purses her lips and scowls at me like I’ve just sassed her or something, and says, “Well, I have to have a name for my system.”  Excuse me?  What is THAT?  I don’t need that.  Make. One. Up.  I don’t care.  Pick a doctor.  I don’t know any of them anyhow.  If all else fails, put your own name in there.  Like it matters?!  And don’t you DARE get snippy with me.  I’m not responsible for your data issues.  I smiled and shrugged sheepishly, and she didn’t get any of what I was *really* thinking.  But she rubbed my fur up all the wrong way.

And I *HAVE* to gripe about the whole sign-in crap they’ve got going, now, too.  It used to be you went into a clinic and walked up to the reception desk, told them your name and time of appointment, they gave you the paperwork to fill out, and then you sat down and waited to be called back.  Now you’re not allowed to approach the reception desk without going to a touchscreen kiosk and typing in your name there, so that it can pop up on the screen at the reception desk BEFORE you get there.  And why??  It takes TWICE as long.  There was an elderly man there, and he went to the counter, and the receptionist set down her latte (!!!!!) and snapped at him, “You can’t come here until you go sign in at the kiosk!!”  So he shuffled over to it, tried to figure out the technology, but he didn’t see the ‘enter’ and ‘submit’ and when he tapped in his name, he went back to the desk, and she huffed and rolled her eyes about how he didn’t *finish* signing in… It belittles people.  It’s ridiculous.  It’s a tedious and with no real purpose.

I want a small hand-held EMP.  Something that takes out all electronics in a 3-foot radius of me.  I’d reach in my pocket, detonate the sucker, and take out their moronic kiosk.  “Oh, ma’am, I’m sorry, but it’s not working.  There’s not even anything on the screen!”  (Apparently I’m secretly evil, in at least one way.)  I’d take out the televisions in fast food restaurants too.  I get SO SICK of saying, “Isaac, please turn around.  Ethan, you’re watching TV.  Aaron, you’re not eating.  Aaron!  Ethan, turn around!”  Good gawd, by the end of a Burger King trip, I just want to bash that screen with a baseball bat!  (Apparently I’m VERY evil, and maybe not even so secretly.)

And medical staff make me feel like I’m a bad parent when I’m not.  I’m a better parent than any one of those smug, over-educated, snotty b*ches are!  I put more time and research and effort into my children than ANY of those women EVER did to theirs.  How DARE they look down their noses at me for my parenting choices?  Mind your own business, already!  But they’re INVASIVE, and judgmental, and I don’t like or trust any of them.  ANY of them.  And for them to stand there and preach at me because they don’t share MY views…!?  They’re MY choices.  Not a thing they say is going to change my mind.  Who are they?  I don’t even KNOW them!  Why should I take their word for ANYTHING?  They certainly don’t know half of what they think they do.  And they’re not even *nice*!!  I don’t want to get into a controversial conversation about stuff with them, because it’s a total waste of air.  The fact is, I will never get along with a healthcare practitioner.  I’d like them to look in the face of my ex-fiance and tell him that vaccines are harmless.  His daughter has never walked again, after the day they gave her the Gardisil vaccination.  And those smug, horrible people act like it’s just a wives’ tale, like I’m such an uneducated idiot for refusing their special brands of poison.

In other words, I’m anti-vaccinations.

And I should qualify that.  If vaccinations today were what they were twenty years ago, I wouldn’t stand where I do, now, on the matter.  Vaccinations originally were a *GOOD* thing.  But in the past 15 years, pharmaceutical companies have changed the ingredients from what actually worked.  That’s why we’re seeing a recurrence of whooping cough, measles, and other things.  They’re blaming the non-vaxxers, but the fact is that they’ve opted for cheaper ingredients that don’t work, and they’ve combined shots and lessened their effectuality.  They use ingredients that are FAR more harmful with six times the side effects of the original ingredients.  Even if it *were* the fault of the unvaccinated, bringing the disease around…  if their shots worked, there wouldn’t BE a worry, now would there?  If their shot protects them, what’s the problem?  The problem is that the vaccines are weaker, cheaper, and are leaving people susceptible. My choice not to vaccinate isn’t the problem – what they’ve done to medicine in their streamlining is the problem.

I didn’t even KNOW this, until I had Lydia vaccinated for chicken pox.  Four years later, they said she had to be RE-vaccinated for chicken pox, because the first one wore off.  So how long does the next one last?  I wanted to know.   They didn’t have a definitive answer.  About the same time, there was a HUGE surge in shingles in older people.  Why?  Because kids weren’t getting chicken pox, anymore.  Which meant their parents (who had had it as kids) weren’t getting their adult exposure to their kids’ cases, which would’ve acted like a booster and safeguarded against shingles.  And the grandparents weren’t getting their senior exposure to their grandkids, which would’ve acted like a booster against shingles.  So now there’s this huge push for seniors to get shingles shots… because of the chicken pox shots.  And all over something that was NATURAL, that we all had as kids.  It’s preposterous.  I said ‘no, and went and found the chicken pox, and gave it to my kids the natural way.  Which I’m sure also makes me a bad mom.

I shouldn’t have gone there, but… it’s all about money.  And it’s just causing misery and trouble.  What happens when these chicken pox vaccinated kids have their vaccination wear off at age thirty?  The older they contract CP, the worse the case – it’s the ADULTS that die from it.  It’s madness.  The chemical cocktails they make aren’t working – they’re causing other diseases and conditions, while leaving people exposed.  Just look at how they screw up the flu shot, every single year!  Madness.  I’ll stop now.  And you have every right to believe whatever you want, and do whatever you want.  But I want the same right.  To make my choices, without a panel of three coming in to ‘confront’ me about my ‘neglect’.  I was absolutely furious.

It thunderstormed, last night.  Rain on a metal trailer roof is LOUD, btw!  So no sleep plus clinic idiocy plus I think I might finally be succumbing to my guy’s cold… it just put me over the edge.  I thought maybe going back to the lake and taking a bike ride would put things more into perspective.  Halfway thru our bike ride, the skies opened up, and it POURED on us.  Just poured.  We were drowned rats.  And it never cleared up.  We ended up locking the trailer and going home for the evening.  My guy and I made homemade chili and cheese bread, and then we watched “Next Stop Wonderland” with the kids.  Which is a fantastic movie – I love it, the themes, the near-misses that happen all the way through the film, all the way to the end – but it’s not to be watched when one is in a foul mood.  It’s a brooding movie.  Not so good for a cranky Anna.

I most definitely shouldn’t be writing to you.  This is a total downer, and can’t be fun to read.  I just… really, REALLY needed to… I don’t know.  Purge?   Is that a good word?  It’s a terrible thing – I didn’t even talk about anything you’d written, last time.  I got selfish in this one.  Forgive?

I promise that if I’m not at least semi-chipper, tomorrow, I’ll take the day off from writing, okay?

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